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Thursday, December 9, 2010

The Color Of Unconditional Love

 Morning Family I know I've been away for a while but its been a super busy fall for me so I do apologize! But as you may already know I have been one of the contributing writers for the "Romance" section in OliveCoco Magazine now for some time.  If you haven't already checked out OliveCoco Magazine you need to do so asap! Follow the link and there you will find a plethora of my other columns.  Today I wanted to share with you one of my most recent columns because I thought this was a great topic and Im interested in hearing you all's thoughts on the topic of Unconditional Love and the many shades of gray that it operates in.

When I say we live in shades of gray what’s the first thing that comes to mind?  Most would say that it means we live in a world where nothing is simply black and white!  Others may say that it simply means that we chose to acknowledge something’s and ignore others and use the shades of gray as a way of justifying our biases!  Then you have those that would say there is no such thing as living in shades of gray everything in life is either black or white!   Well, to answer the question accurately we may need to ask ourselves another question first which might appear initially to be totally unrelated.  This brings me to my follow up question do we, better yet are we capable of loving someone unconditionally?  Now before you answer that question think about it long and hard!  To love unconditionally and all that, that entails is something not to be taken lightly!  From birth we are groomed to love! We come out of the womb yearning to be comforted and to have our presence be acknowledged as to say we matter too.

All babies come into life totally dependent on others!  As we become adults we would like to think that our dependency on other becomes less of a need but the reality is that it doesn’t fade away it just changes its state of being!  That desire to be accepted, loved, and valued stays with us for life no matter how old we become!  Which brings me back to my original point, is unconditional love plausible without operating in shades of gray?  The answer would have to be no!  The problem is that we as people are flawed because we can’t love without conditions; therefore we put conditions on everything! Wives and husbands place conditions on their marriage and lay down unbreakable vows! But what happens when one of those vows are broken do we stick to our initial conditions or do we digest it and put on our gray tinted shades, seeing it as a moment of infidelity resulting from poor communication and misunderstanding!  When a best friend lashes out and does something contrary to what the friendship has been built on do we totally dismiss this friend or realize that the history we have is much more worth it to hang on to!  Parents who are betrayed by their own children do those parents totally write them off or still hold tight to the belief that they didn’t mean to intentionally hurt them and that their wayward child shall one day change for the good!

Shades of gray make it possible to love someone beyond the conditions that we place on them! Shades of gray allow us to see past a person’s fault and recognize our own faults and flaws and how we too fall short!  We don’t live in a black and white world because we are not machines. We choose who and what we are willing to forgive but we have to be open to the possibility of loving others unconditionally means we would have to look into the looking glass and see our own reflections starring back at us!  Unconditional love is impossible without allowing ourselves to be open to the fact that we can’t do it without putting on our Shades of Gray!  I was once told that, “We make love conditional because we don’t like to lose,” well its time to condition ourselves for love so we can finally win!  Love is an unconditional way of life that can only truly exist in the realm of distorted hues of gray! Are you ready to dive into that realm?  Are you ready to step out of the false illusion of a black and white world and walk into a realm where only a multifaceted array of shades of color exist?  Connecting with someone in such a way that only God could have ordained then shed you’re prejudices and invite Love in.  Allow Love in its purest form to live in your mind, body, soul, and spirit!  Then and only then will you be able to reciprocate back to the masses the color of unconditional love!

I hope you all take a moment and reflect on this topic of Love and the difficult task of attempting to do it unconditionally especially of the holidays! During this time of year while so many families makes plans to be with one another attempt to put this unconditional love into practice after all it all begins and ends with family!  If you have any questions or maybe a topic you would like me to write on feel free to email me or tweet me at stay safe and be blessed this holiday season!

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